What a power packed word. I mean who doesn’t have them? Are they right, wrong, misdirected, unreasonable? In marriage some expectations are good. We can and should expect certain things of our spouse, such as being faithful, staying with us, and providing. For me, many of mine, went well over and above God’s directives.
Apparently, I specialized in the (wrong, misdirected, unreasonable kind)! For instance, I married someone in the ministry, who did not make much money when I married him, so what made me expect that he would start making more money? But for some reason, I expected him to.I married a man, who was laid back, easy going, spontaneous, unscheduled, and unorganized. All of which I found very exciting during our dating, and engagement. Again, what made me expect that after we married, he would become, focused, scheduled, organized, and driven. I married someone totally opposite of me, and then expected him to be like me.
Guess what happened? He did not meet my expectations.
So, I was really frustrated, not even aware that my expectations were wrong, and misdirected. I thought they made sense. It took me a long time to realize what I was doing. I was expecting something unrealistic. I was expecting him to change, to be someone different. I was convinced that what I expected him to be and do, was right.
“Almost every disappointment in marriage can be traced to an unmet expectation.”
~Gary Thomas
I needed God to open my eyes to see the truth. The truth was that no, Johnny was not what I had expected, but he was what God would use to teach me, change me, and set me free from false expectations. When our expectations are wrong, or even misdirected, we need to realign them, so we stop the cycle of unmet expectations, frustration, disappointment, and even despair.
Psalm 37: 4 says “Delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
When we start to delight in the Lord, He can purify and realign our expectations, so they rest in Him.
~Carla Morton ~