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Do You Tango?


Now with full disclosure, I have no idea how to tango. I don’t even dance well. I mean I love to dance, but I am not very coordinated. I definitely have never learned to do a dance where it is an art form. The kind of dance where two partners are graceful, and they move like their bodies are just in unison. It really is amazing to watch.


I think the reason I thought about the tango is because of two of the moves that seem to represent what our marriages should be like. When the dancers are back-to-back, not facing one another but each turned the opposite direction. It reminds me of how so many times in our marriage, that back-to-back move is what we are doing. It is what we need. We need to be back-to-back, facing out to the world that we must live in and deal with. It may be two totally different worlds. One of you may be primarily in the home, managing all aspects of the domestic side and your children. The other may be tangled within the business or professional world. You each must face what is your role. But isn’t it beautiful to know that someone is at your back. What about the confidence and strength it gives you to know you have your partner in this dance?

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But isn’t it beautiful to know that someone is at your back.

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The second move is when they gracefully shift from being back-to-back to moving toward each other, their faces are literally inches apart. It is so intimate, so connected. You just feel the energy flow through each of them to the other one. It is a passionate intense exchange.

We absolutely want and need some of this in our marriage dance. We need and crave times of deeply connecting with each other. We need to lock eyes!


What is interesting is that the dance flows in and out of these moves and others. It is never static. The flow of back-to-back and face-to-face occur in a repeated rhythm. Our marriages really need this kind of flow. We need to know and experience that we are back-to-back and there for one another. We need also to move toward one another and have intimate connection.


I will never dance in a beautiful way (nor will Johhny participate 😊) but I can explore how the rhythm of our marriage dance is looking. Do we need to practice more supportive steps so that we each feel valued and honored in our roles? Do we need to work on our more intimate times of connection?


So, may I ask you how your marriage dance is going?  Do you need to take some lessons, or do you need to keep practicing so your dance becomes more beautiful?


~Carla

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