It seems like we all do it right? I mean we all grumble at times. But do we know what it might be costing us?
I think to myself that I don’t grumble all that often, I don’t complain unnecessarily. But then I must stop myself and ask, “What do I mean by not often and unnecessarily?” If I am brutally honest then I must admit that my standard or definition of what constitutes when grumbling is allowed is based only on me.
God’s word never gives us a listing of when it is ok to grumble. “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Phillians 2:14-15 (NIV). How do I decide then that is ok for me to grumble?
Many times, my grumbling is based on unmet expectations, or situations that do not go according to my set agenda. I want things a certain way, I want my way. I unfortunately still see this ugly thing rear its head often in my marriage. It is amazing that after this many years of marriage, I have not been able to get Johhny on board with doing everything the way I want it ☹. Shocking, isn’t it? I mean, I think I have been pretty clear on what I want and need.
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“Do everything without grumbling..." ~Phil. 2:14
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This is where the rubber meets the road. Will I allow God to use every one of these unmet expectations and disappointments to teach me a deeper truth? Or will I regress and start to grumble? What does grumbling do for me, and what does it say to my spouse?
Recently I had another lived experience to practice this concept. (God is always giving me opportunities for new material 😊) Johhny and I had planned an experience that did not turn out like we thought. I was so disappointed. My expectations were not meet. I felt let down. So, guess what I did? I grumbled, I complained, I allowed all my frustration to pour onto Johnny. Even though I was not really blaming Johhny all of my grumbling came across that way to him. Johnny felt like it was his fault.
The grumbling did not accomplish anything good. God wanted me to examine my heart. I needed to see that many times my heart is so set on things that I want to work out or go a certain way that I am not leaving any room for what God might be doing. My grumbling says in effect – God what is happening here is not ok. Grumbling always spills over onto those around us…….and it is not pleasant.
God, I ask that you continue to teach me that grumbling has a cost.
~Carla