When Your Marriage is Not What You Wanted

I sort of cringe as I write this title. I am certainly not talking to everyone, and some of you may feel shocked. Like what is wrong with me, to say that. But I know that there are people, who in their heart of hearts, are thinking that exact thing.

What they imagined, hoped for, or dreamed there marriage would be like, that is not the marriage they have. I think for many of us, the rose-colored glasses we wore when we said “I do” must have been really thick (you know like those coke bottle lens…). So, when they came off, we were left thinking, “What in the world did I get into?” How did what I found so attractive when we were dating and engaged become the most irritating thing now that we are married?

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Maybe the marriage you thought you wanted is not the marriage God knows you need.

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Those are hard questions and hard places. But it is a reality for many people. So, what do we do when we find ourselves thinking this is not what I wanted? If you belong to Jesus Christ, then the answer is that even if we were wearing the rose-colored glasses and are now shocked at what this is really like, God knew. This is no surprise to God; He knows what He will use in our lives to work in us.

I struggled with letting go, of how I wanted our marriage to be, I wanted it to be what I had imagined. I wanted Johnny to be what I wanted him to be. But God was using that discontentment, those irritations to show me so many things. Here are just a few of them:

·       My husband was never intended to meet all my needs.

·       His differences are not defects.

·       My way is not the only way.

·       I had to learn to give grace.

·       God made us different for a reason

·       I can only control or change me, not my spouse.

Maybe the marriage you thought you wanted is not the marriage God knows you need.  Ask God if He will show you, what He is doing in your marriage.

~ Carla