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When My Heart and My Head Don’t Match

Do you ever live in this space, where your heart is screaming louder than your head is processing? What I mean by that is so many times in my life, I want to be led by my heart. I don’t want to have to think or process based on facts, truth……etc.  In so many ways I just had an immediate dislike for the previous sentence. I don’t like that many times “women” are labeled as “too emotional”.  Thinking with their heart, not their head, and all that sort of rhetoric.  It makes us seem like we are defective. I do not believe that for one minute, but I am going to try to write this. So, I hopefully speak a balanced truth that I need to remind myself. 


           Our being in touch and tune with what our hearts are telling us is part of the way God wired a woman. He made us absolutely relational in every kind of way. Think about what God said about why He made Eve, the first woman. God says in Genesis 2:20, “Adam gave names to all of the cattle, the birds of the air, and to every beast in the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.” (Care & Counsel Bible).  There was no helper, among the animals comparable for what he needed. God, in His wisdom, created a woman that would be that right, fitting helper. God made Eve to be in a relationship with Adam. She was to complement him, to bring what was different and unique, but necessary for their human relationship. So, we do not dishonor what God has given us, a heart that feels things, gets things, and sees and hears the unspoken things. 


“Bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."



           I should stop the blog right now, right? We are awesome, and we should just go with all of our heart’s feelings. Man, I wish that was true but unfortunately because we live in a fallen world and are sinful it gets muddy at times. We can get way off base if we just go with the flow, according to what our heart feels at any given time. We can become so fixated on “what we feel” that we get off kilter. That is the danger with feelings. They are strong, they scream loudly, and they feel so real, so right! 


           The problem is that feelings/emotions are just that - feelings. They do not have intelligence in and of themselves. They are not processing from the same place in our brain. The part of our brain that needs to think, to process, to discern truth is not the same place where our emotions live (what our heart feels). The emotional center of our brain can hijack the “thinking” part of our brain. This is where we must have a check on our emotions, so that we do not allow the emotion to be in charge, calling the shots, over the reality of what the truth may be. This is why we have to know the truth, to be willing to examine our emotions (what our heart is telling us) in light of what we know to be right. 


           I can honestly say that I think this is a place in marriage where I must constantly assess what my heart and my brain are doing. So many times things like this happen.  Johnny hurts my feelings, he doesn't respond well, he does not do what I want or need him too. I feel hurt. My heart feels sad, mad, irritated, and most of the time justified in my feelings. Now, all of those feelings are so real and incredibly strong. What I need to do is stop and examine those “feelings” in light of the whole situation. I must allow truthful thinking to evaluate what is happening. Then, and only then, can I align my heart with truth. 2 Corinthians 10:5 “Bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” KJV


           Being a woman led by her heart can be a beautiful thing, but only when it has the protective oversight of using our head to align with truth! 




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