This journey we call marriage can be hard; it may not be what we want or what we thought it would be. When we long for our marriage to be easier, happier, healthier, or just plain different; it is often a painful place.
The challenge is not allowing what is “not” to define our marriage. If we only see what is not right, not good, not working, not enjoyable, or not easy we will fall prey to a despondent, defeated mindset. We must determine to “see” any and every little thing that we can find to be grateful about. When we purpose to look for these things, we begin to be open to the possibly of seeing our marriage differently. It may be as small as you are thankful:
They shower every day
They provide an income for your family
They care for the children
They cook, or grocery shop, or help with some tasks
They will work on the car
You get the idea………it may be hard……but find something positive, anything.
"If you search for good, you will find favor"
This may seem small and insignificant considering whatever is going on in your marriage; but it is one way we can begin to reset our mind. We must move from a constant negative mindset. Start small. It can be amazing what can happen even when we see the small things we can be thankful for.
The second piece of this is after you find something, share it with your spouse if you can. Maybe not the shower part 😊…but maybe something you can genuinely say thank-you for. Verbalizing to your spouse something you are thankful for, especially when you are in a difficult place, can be the beginning of softening a hard heart.
If you are a believer, then remind yourself that God is always working, nothing is ever lost in God’s economy of things. He will use everything in our lives to reveal more of Himself. In the book of Job, we read and understand that Job knew God before the calamities, but He saw God because of them.
Let us pray to see God amidst the hard places in our marriages and give us eyes to begin to see our marriage differently. As we look for what we can be thankful for, we remind ourselves that we can choose to start to see things differently.