I don’t know about you, but sometimes I just want to literally scream when the differences in our temperaments seem oceans apart. I was recently reminded of this, when I was so frustrated about something with my husband (I will not say his name) 😊.
Now the issue was something that he was asked to do by someone else. But unfortunately, I was aware of it, so now I am in the loop. I know him so well that I knew when he said he would do it, he would forget or procrastinate. He would not intentionally fail to do it, but it is just how he is wired.
So, take a guess about what happened? You got it, he did not get it done. Again, unfortunately I heard the person, in a kidding way ask him about it. Like I said, I am in the loop again!
Now here is where the rubber meets the road. How do I deal with this? My feelings tell me several things: I am frustrated with him, I am irritated, and I am exasperated. So, the challenge is what do I do with these feelings? This is what I am learning to do. I need to ask myself a bunch of questions.
· Why do I feel the emotions I do?
Am I frustrated or irritated because he is not handling this in the way I would?
Do I believe that my way is the right way?
Could I be wrong about that? Is it really wrong what he has done, or just different?
Am I irritated because I think it makes him look bad, therefore by extension me?
Is it sin, in me that is making me frustrated at him?
· Decide how big a deal this is?
On a scale of 1-10 (1= just let it go………………………………10= over my dead body), where does this fall? If the number is low, then I may need just to apply grace, let love cover over this irritation. If the number is middle range or higher, then I need to have a conversation with my husband.
It still may be more of my response to the situation, but I need to let him know.
I need to share it with him, at the right time, right place and in the right frame of mind.
I am finding that as I apply these questions to situations, it allows me to really take stock, of what is going on internally with me, and then helps me know how I need to respond. Many times, it is my pride or irritation that he will just not do things like I would. (As if I have the corner on how all things should be done!)
While we live on this earth, we will have things that make us want to scream about our spouse, but let’s determine to try and rise above our differences and allow them to challenge and change us.
~Carla
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