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Reflect & Refocus

Hard to believe we are in the last days of this year. Life really does speed by us. As we draw this year to a close, I want to suggest that we do two things.

Let’s reflect on this year. Where were you when you started out this past January? What all has occurred this year? Did the year result in your marriage being stronger? Are you closer to one another? Are you just drifting along? Has this been a year that beat up your marriage? Are you holding on by a thread? Depending on how you answered these first questions will probably impact what you may want to do with this second part.

How do you want to refocus for this new year? Think about where you want to be this time next year. What does that look like? What steps can you take, or what habits, changes do you need to make to move toward that end? Remember we can’t have a goal that involves how someone else responds. We can only have a goal for ourselves. What can I do to move toward what I would like to see happen?


“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)


We will never move toward an increasingly intimate marriage without being intentional. We will not get there if we just think it will happen. The only thing that just happens is the drift, the stream of life that will just move you along, but never toward increasing intimacy or delight.

We can never know what a given year will bring to our lives, but we can be certain that growth as a believer and a strong marriage will not happen without a plan, an intention of our hearts and minds.

Marriage is a gift that God chose to give us. (Yes, I know sometimes you may think you want to return it:) But for a believer it one of the keyways God will work in our lives. He will use the good, the hard, and the painful to do a deep work in our souls. If God can change our hard hearts and give us eyes and ears to see and desire Him; He can give us hearts that learn what really loving someone else is all about. As we reflect on this past year and refocus for a new one may God give us minds and hearts that are willing to trust Him with our marriages. May we plan but trust in His purposes to prevail.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)


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