I was recently at an event where people were standing around making small talk. Someone was talking about having to go some where and another person said, “Well at least it gives you time away from your husband.” Probably it was said in jest, but it got me to thinking. How many times do we say negative, unflattering, undesirable, or pessimistic remarks about marriage? Maybe we are talking about our own, but maybe marriage in general.
What if we changed the narrative? What if we as believers, who understand God’s purpose for marriage (if you are unclear on that, go back and read some of the other blogs), spoke of marriage in light of what God says about it. What if by our words we affirm it and we speak of the privilege of sharing a life with someone else.
What if when we speak of our husband or our marriage, we speak like we did when someone asked us about our fiancé? What did we say back then? Did we disparage him, or the idea of being married. I doubt it. We probably extolled their virtues, and could not wait to be married. When does it become a burden, a rolling of the eyes, making fun of or outright dismissing the honor of the covenant?
I think we need to start a new shift in the way we speak about marriage. I think we need to challenge ourselves to speak truth, blessings, encouragement, and hope. Maybe it could look like this:
· We honor our spouse by speaking well of them. “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another about ourselves.” (Romans 12: 10, NIV).
· We share how marriage is used to change us for our good, and God’s glory.
· We share how we get to move toward incredible oneness and intimacy. "And God said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.’" (Matthew 19:5, GNT)
· We share that two are better than one. "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed." ( Ecclesiastes 4:9, NLT).
Does this mean that we never share that marriage is hard, challenging, and down right impossible at times? No, in the right place, and time we certainly acknowledge how difficult marriage can be. But that is what is so amazing. Yes, marriage is incredibly hard, but done well, it can be the most rewarding, awesome thing you will ever do.
So, let’s decide to start a marriage shift. Let’s start talking more about the positives and less about the negatives. Let’s shift to more celebration of what we have that is good and still can get better, than what is not. Let’s become known for what we say about marriage that reflects an entirely different heart than many of those around us.