The Summer Season of Marriage

What does your yard look like when it is in the summer season?  To some degree, it is the time to enjoy and delight in the results of what happened in springtime. Did you plant a garden? Did you do some yard work, plant some new bushes or flowers? Did you fertilize the grass, and do things that helped your yard look nice for summer?

          If you did then when summer arrives your grass is green, your plants are blooming, and it is great to be outside and enjoy the fruit of your labor. You did some work; you made some plans and now over the summer months hopefully you will enjoy the fun and delight of getting to be outside.

          The summer season of marriage is like that. You have been intentional in your springtime (remember the newest, the patterns and foundations you started) and now you are in the time of enjoying them. Summer means you are in a rich time of delight, and fruitfulness in your marriage. Your fun, contentment and enjoyment of each other is at a rich place.

          I remember one of the first times I realized we were in a sweet summer season. We had experienced a hard winter, and then we purposed to work to move into spring. During that spring season we did the things we needed to do to reconnect, to work through issues to learn better ways to communicate and to be intentional about putting our marriage first. Then, we realized later that we were in summer. We were enjoying the fruit of the spring work. We were finding great delight in being together. We loved the “fun” of summer. Summer is the season that we want to try and stay in as much as we can.

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 We may not stay forever in a summer season of marriage, but you can make it last long and return to it quickly if we do what it takes. Remember summer is the fruit of doing some spring prep work and maintaining the work during the summer.

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          How do we make the summer last? Well, there are some things that we need to do to make it last as long as it can. You don’t stop doing what you did in the spring, once you get to summer. You keep mowing and watering the grass, you tend your plants, you pull weeds. (You even use weed killer.) You do everything you can to make it beautiful for as long as you can. 

          We must treat our marriage the same way. I need to tend to my spouse, just the way you would your yard. I need to give the life gift of water each day (how do I water and feed his soul). I enjoy him and treat him with respect. I show interest in what he likes and enjoys. I ask him what he needs, how I can help him.

          When the weeds come up, I don’t neglect them. I do something about them. So, when we have a conflict, we deal with it.  I use the S.A.F.E method to express what I am upset about. We get it out in the open, but in a way that does not damage the other person. I change something that is not working. If we are not having enough time together, then what do I need to do to make that happen?  I keep my marriage a priority. If I don’t the weeds of neglect will take over. 

          No season will last forever. Even the beauty, enjoyment and fun of a summer season will end.  We may not stay forever in a summer season of marriage, but you can make it last long and return to it quickly if we do what it takes. Remember summer is the fruit of doing some spring prep work and maintaining the work during the summer. Keep your summer of marriage sweet by tending it well. 

~Carla