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It's All About the Degree

Updated: Aug 7, 2023

I am not talking about the degree that you earn from a college or university; I am talking about a slight change in one direction or another. That is how lasting change most often comes about. We make a small degree of change one way or another.

If we decide we want to be healthier, we can decide and plan what we are going to do (eat better, exercise more, start taking supplements, sleep more) but the real change the goal of “being healthier” will only happen by degrees. It doesn’t matter how much you decide and commit to be healthier, you are only minimally healthier a week from now.

This is as true in our marriages as anywhere in life. We can change, we can move toward the marriage we desire by degrees. But we will not get there overnight. This can be so challenging when we want things to be different, we want them to be better; but real change, real progress will happen in degrees.


...we get there by one small degree of change at a time.


This does not have to be discouraging, it can be encouraging if we can remember to look for the small degree changes. Remind ourselves and remember, if you want to turn around a large ship, you do it slowly but once you are headed in the right direction you pick up speed. Look for and celebrate your small degree changes. Maybe journal so you can review and track your changes. Try to remember where you were, how things were a month ago or six months ago.

This is a principle we see over and over in scripture. 2 Corinthians 3:18 tells us, "Our changes as we grow spiritually are by degrees" ESV. The same is true when we are shifting away from the Lord. It normally is a subtle small degree shift that if left unnoticed, and uncorrected can result in having drifted far off course.

Again, the same principle is true in our marriage. No one purposes to grow apart, lose interest, lose connection, and end up with a wide chasm of separation. We do not get there by a huge degree change in course; we get there by one small degree of change at a time.

How are we to keep our degrees of change moving in the right direction?

· Pay attention and be mindful of where you are.

· Be intentional.

· Remember to celebrate the small degree changes.

· Quickly correct when you move even a degree in wrong direction.

Remember that great marriages don’t just happen, they are forged out of one positive degree change at a time.

~ Carla

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