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How Wives Want to be Loved

(Wives, maybe print this out and slide it to your husband.)

The answer is of course different for every woman, but I suspect that there are some things common to all women. God says in Genesis 2:20 that Adam named all the animals but there was not a helper that was comparable to him. (NKJV). Some translations read that Adam had no one like him. (NCB).

From the beginning Adam needed someone else. The animals did not cut it. We are designed and created to be in relationship. So, God provided. He made a woman and brought her to Adam. Can you imagine what that must have been like. Wow, I was in a deep sleep, and I wake up to this woman! I think this really was the first case of love at first sight. 😊

God created a woman to meet the need of a man for relationship. We are wired to be relational. We have a deep desire for this. We want to connect on the deepest of levels with our spouse. This is a lifelong journey that we make with our spouse.

We initially chose to leave other significant relationships, including our parents. We join our lives with this one other person. We move toward becoming one. This process is one of full disclosure of everything about us to this other person.

I think deep down a woman wants what happened in the garden, and what happened when you first met to continue forever. Adam was blown away by Eve. I want my husband to be blown away by me. I want that concept of naked and unashamed to be lived out. I want to be loved and cherished despite my total nakedness (with all my flaws and faults). I want the total seeing of me to become sweeter with time.


(SoS 4:7, NLT)


I want the length of the journey we call marriage to make me more desirable not less. I want the real me to be known and cared for more deeply with each passing day.

Recently a husband of a couple we were working with said, “I still find her attractive.” I guess that statement can go two ways. One, take it at face value. She still looks good. She still has his eye. The second way to take it is will he find me attractive when maybe I really am not? It made me think, what a gift, what a rare jewel for a wife to know that she is the essence of beauty to her husband. Even as she changes and ages. She is the standard by which he defines beauty. Wow oh Wow! That would be amazing.

Husbands, I challenge you to ask God to help you love and see your wife like this.


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