How Can I Have Spiritual Intimacy in My Marriage?

Well, the answer to that is, "it depends."All of the other areas of intimacy can really apply to any couple but spiritual intimacy only applies to Christian believers. God has created all mankind with a spirit. But without God doing a work in our hearts through salvation our spirits are dead to God. We are not interested, we don’t seek God, we want to be independent of God. Ephesians 2:1 (NIV) says, “we were dead in our trespasses and sins.”. But, if God opens our eyes to see the truth of our sin and separation from God, and we accept by faith the sacrifice of His perfect son Jesus as the payment for our sin, then we are made alive to God. This is what being “saved” means. God makes us alive to Him. Romans 5: 1-17 (NIV). 

           When a couple are both believers then they are alive to the work of God in them. He places His spirit in each of them but this also allows them to connect in this “spiritual way” unlike a couple that are not believers. So, it is this high and holy aspect of our marriages that we get to experience spiritual intimacy with our husband. 

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When we are able to share our deepest struggles, fears, sins, and hidden things openly before God and our husband, deep intimacy can be the result.

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           The challenge is that just because a married couple are believers does not mean that they will automatically grow in spiritual intimacy. This area also, like the others have to be learned, explored and developed. Many times, spiritual intimacy does not come easily because it really is the most intimate. When you think about your relationship with God and the intimacy of God knowing everything about you, and seeing every part of you, sometimes sharing this with our husband may feel awkward, even vulnerable. But this is where the beauty is, there is an increased sense of oneness and intimacy when we can share with our spouse the things we pray about. When we are able to share our deepest struggles, fears, sins, and hidden things openly before God and our husband, deep intimacy can be the result. Yes, it can be hard at first but as you open up to share spiritual things amazing things can happen to the depth of your relationship. 

           If you are thinking, I don’t even know how or where to start with this, may I suggest a couple of things. Start small, maybe ask your husband one time a week, how can I pray for you this week? If he is willing to pray together, start with once a week (might be date night). If he hesitates, then just pray for him, and then at the end of the week go back and ask about what you have been praying about. Do this until it begins to be more comfortable and regular, then go back and ask about praying together (start small). Another small step is to share things that God is teaching you, something you read, something you heard, or something you are struggling with. Start to open the door to your spirit, and allow your husband to see what God is doing in you. Small steps can lead to big changes. 

~Carla