Alright guys. We have been focusing on the need to be intentional about the design of your marriage this week. Just like a beautiful golf course or an awesome stadium, great marriages need to be planned out. They don’t design or build themselves. It takes intentionality. Before you start pursuing your own ideas of what a great marriage looks like, let’s take a minute to think about the design God has for marriage. Here are five principles you need to consider when designing your marriage.
1. Our marriage should reflect Jesus. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:31, “Well, whatever you do, whether it’s eating or drinking or anything else, do it all so as to bring glory to God.”(CJB) We bring God glory by reflecting His character and nature in our lives. That means be a husband in such a way that people see the character of Jesus in you and how you live, especially in marriage.
2. Men, take charge. We should be the ones to take the lead in building a stronger, healthier marriage. Paul tells us to love our wife as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25). John tells us that God initiated loving us. We love him because he first loved us. Guys, in our marriages, we need to be the one to initiate building a better marriage. Don’t wait on your wife to do it! Lead the way!
3. Practice love. Love is action towards someone, not how you feel. Someone said, “Love is disadvantaging yourself for the benefit of others.” I love that idea. Love means putting your wife’s needs and desires ahead of your own. It’s not always convenient. You may find yourself missing out on somethings you want to do, but that is the nature of loving well.
4. Every wife is a trophy wife! Do you see your wife as your prized possession. I don’t mean like owning her. Is she your priority? Do you love her more than all your other stuff? Learn to cherish your wife. Not sure what that is? Here is my thoughts of what it means to cherish your wife:
To cherish your spouse is to see them as they truly are, the lovely and the unlovely. It is appreciating and honoring the unique person they are while encouraging them to be the best version of themselves. Cherishing is making sure they feel both seen and heard by you. It is noticing and celebrating the excellence you see in them to everyone around. It is guarding and protecting them from anything that might harm them or your relationship.
5. Be heaven-minded. It’s easy to get caught up in this culture and focus on the things that don’t last. Things like status, money, possessions, awards and achievements. Those things can be ok if you know their place. They should never be your priority. Your relationship with God comes first. Your next priority is your marriage. Focus on the things that will last. As Jesus said in Matthew 6 – focus on building heavenly treasure, not earthly.
So, guys, let’s get busy. No matter where your marriage is right now, start on building a better, stronger, healthier, God-honoring marriage today. Be the husband that God is calling you to be!
Keep on forging,
Johnny
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