Finding Your Soulmate

It might sound like a worthy pursuit but it’s not. The reason it is not, is because it doesn’t exist. It plays well in romantic books and movies but it’s not a true thing. The reason getting caught up in this “fantasy” is dangerous is because of the line of thinking that can follow. 

           There are a number of problems with this soulmate thing. 

• Out of billions of people on the planet, how you are supposed to find this one person?

• What if you marry the wrong one? Then, you took someone else’s and now it is a trickle-down effect….

• Most importantly, there is not anything in God’s word that indicates that there is only one person you could marry. 

• The idea that if I find my soulmate, then this marriage thing is easy.

• Probably the other key issue is if you were to buy into this, then when you hit hard challenging times in your marriage, the most “obvious” answer is that you married the wrong person (they are not your soulmate) so you need to get out so you can find yours. 

  
  

We need to put away the soulmate idea, but put on the Solemate mindset. That means that your husband needs to become your Solemate. You may not feel like that is where you are ; but it is what we need to become. Only I can decide to embrace the husband I have (not the fantasy I may have conjured up), and learn to be what he needs. As I learn to be what he needs, guess what happens many times, he begins to be what I want and need. 

           Becoming solemates is a lifelong process. It is not easy at times, it takes work, and intentionality and a willingness to learn to love the one I have.  You know, like the song says, Love the one you’re with.  It is so important to focus on what we have, not on what we don’t. We don’t have to continue to think, maybe my husband is not my soulmate, what we need to think is He can become my solemate! 

~Carla