When someone asks, “How’s your marriage?” you don’t want to just be able to answer, “ok.” Now, there is not anything wrong with an OK marriage, but do you want to settle for that? I don’t! I want my marriage to be the sweet spot in this life. I want my marriage to be everything God intended it to be. Now, that does not mean it will be perfect, easy or without conflict. But it means that I can learn to see the value of what God is doing in and through my marriage.
How does a marriage go from being OK tobeing so much more? I think there are a couple of key things I must acknowledge and put in place.
Marriage is one of the main ways God will work in my life to teach me how to love unconditionally. That means it will not be not based on “conditions” that I always like. If I understand this, I will view my marriage from the perspective of what God is doing, not just how I “feel” now.
My spouse will never meet all my needs. They will never do everything that I want them to. God never intended marriage or my spouse to meet all my needs. Only God can satisfy my deepest needs. He can use my spouse to accomplish that, but I need to not ask of my marriage more than God intended.
I must decide to learn to value the differences in my spouse. They have been uniquely created in the image of God. I must choose to see my spouse through a different lens.
I must learn to cherish my spouse. To cherish your spouse is to see them as they truly are, the lovely and the unlovely. It is appreciating and honoring the unique person they are while encouraging them to be the best version of themselves. It is noticing and celebrating the excellence you see in them to all around. It is guarding and protecting them from anything that might harm them or your relationship.
The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).
~ John 10:10 AMP
Yes, there are a lot of things on this list, where “I” must learn to do something. I must believe and act differently if I don’t want to just settle for “ok.” But you know what? It is totally worth it, because I can then get to experience some of that sweet spot.
Let’s ask God to give us the grace to not settle.