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Don’t Forget to Have Fun!


In many ways, it seems strange to have to be reminded to build fun into your marriage. But I say this because in many ways, I did not do a great job with this, and it showed. Probably for most of the first 25 years of our marriage, it was hard. I don’t mean every day, and all the time, but it was an overarching reality.


Within the first 11 years of our marriage, two of our three children were born with congenital cardiac defects. We were thrown into a world of sick children, doctor appointments, hospitalizations, medical expenses, and constant stress. Johnny had 6 job changes during this same time. It was a constant source of stress for me. Not fun at all.


I think of the ocean often. I love it (it is one of my five favorite things 😊). But, when you think about the ocean, the perspective of being on the beach and looking at the waves, compared to being in the water and taken under by a wave, are two very different things. I felt like I was experiencing life like I was in the ocean, and the waves would take me under. You know the kind of “take you under” where you body is being thrown around like you are a rag doll and you have no control. So many times, I felt like that. I would just come up, for air and the next wave would hit me.


What I needed to learn to do, was let the wave toss me on the beach, and then allow the time on the beach to restore me. I could wrap in a clean towel and dry off. I could catch my breath, and let the sun warm me. The reality is, we can’t stay on the warm, dry sand. We end up having to go back into the ocean. But we can do some wise things, in between, our wave riding.


Figure out how best for you and your spouse to reconnect, do something fun, and enjoyable. It may be as simple as a car ride to get ice cream and just talk for a few minutes. It may be more elaborate, but don’t fail to plan for fun. Life can be hard, it can feel like riding the waves, and you can’t get out of the ocean. But, find a way, even doing something small to re-set, remind yourself that there is a beach. When you get on the sand, make the most of it. Even if just for a few minutes.


~Carla

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