Well, I guess it might depend right? If it's from your boss and you feel integrated, then no you probably don’t. If it is something awkward and you're put on the spot you may not like it. But what when someone you care about asks you genuine questions? Is that not really a cool thing? I mean they want to know something about you so they take the time to ask. In our millisecond speed world this is becoming a rare and treasured gift.
We have loved using the idea of asking each other what we call the 5 questions each week. We aim to do it every week. It only takes a few minutes but it can become a powerful connector and recalibration for our marriages. Here are the 5 questions:
How did you feel loved or appreciated this past week?
How can I love you well this coming week?
How can I serve or encourage you this week?
How can I pray for you this week?
How can I pursue you in intimacy and sex this week?
The idea is that you ask your husband these questions every week, and then he asks you. You want to establish this habit. It is great, because it is fun to share how you felt loved (maybe we meant to say thanks or share something, but we forgot) this gives us a built-in chance to look back over a week and especially thank our husband for how we felt loved.
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There is no magic to the questions themselves but what they do is provide an opportunity to have a set, straightforward way to know what is happening in your husband's life.
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These questions get to the heart of all of our life and marriage. Are you feeling loved, if not then be specific with your husband about how you want to be loved. We have to be willing to ask for what we want. It’s really easy to gloss over things, or be too vague or just hint that we want or like something. No, tell your husband how you would like to be loved. Remember he also gets to tell you.:) Galatians 5: 13, says “For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters, but don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, instead use your freedom to serve one another in love.” (NLT)
Each of the questions gets at different aspects of your life. The questions really allow you to know about where each of you are in a given week, in some many different areas. I love being able to have Johnny tell me how he would like for me to pray for him on a given week. Asking a tangible way to love or serve someone is great, no guessing what they might like or need. Do know that when we ask what they want or need, we want to make certain that as much as possible we are doing it.
There is no magic to the questions themselves but what they do is provide an opportunity to have a set, straightforward way to know what is happening in your husband's life. If asking each other questions feels awkward, then start slowly, you don’t have to do all five of them, start with one that you feel more comfortable with. As you build intimacy in your marriage you want and need to be able to address each of these areas.
Questions can be a way to show interest and open the door to discovering more of each other. It is a simple tool, but it can be a powerful tool to give you a window into how you can love your husband and create more intimacy.
~Carla
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