It all starts in the mind. What I think determines how I behave and feel. Therefore, what I think is critical. The challenge is that many times, I listen to the thoughts roaming around in my head, coming in from all kinds of directions. If I am not careful, I may believe any thought I have is true.
I can choose to set my mind and thoughts. I must learn to talk to myself, not listen to myself. I must evaluate my thoughts. Are my thoughts true? Even if they are true, are they something that I need to focus on? Does it line up with Philippians 4:8 ESV “Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, honorable, just, pure and lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Why is this so important? Because it will drive my behavior, and ultimately my emotions. If I think on a certain negative aspect about my marriage, or my spouse, and continue to think about it repeatedly, that becomes my mindset. I will then see everything through the lens of that thought. It will color everything in that direction. I will literally run all behaviors, gestures, and words of my spouse through my mindset. My mind will be continually convinced of what I have chosen to believe.
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"Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse."
~Philippians 4:8 MSG
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Scary, isn’t it? It is easy to allow our minds to focus on the negative; but we must be aware of the danger of this. We must choose to set our minds on what is honorable, what is good. I love the phrase “if there be any virtue”. Maybe at times we are tempted to think, there isn’t anything of virtue in our spouse, we can only see what we believe is lacking. But this is the challenge, to focus on any virtue, look for the good, remind yourself of what is true, what you can appreciate.
Remember it all starts in the mind. Choose your mindset. Choose truth.
~Carla